Whatcha gonna do with your Stimulus money?

"Well, I'm glad you asked, cuz I'm gonna tell you.

I'm gonna go out and buy me some cheese. But not just any cheese. Oh, no siree. None of that Cheddar, or American, or even any of them european cheeses...Swiss, Brie, or Gouda.

I'm gonna go out and buy me some of that Free Government Cheese. That's the best stuff, I'll tell you.

You know why I like Free Government Cheese?

Cuz I likes my grilled cheese sammiches. There's nuttin' better than Free Government Cheese on a grilled cheese sammich. Mmmm. I can taste one right now.

And you know how to make the very best grilled Free Government Cheese sammiches?

It's all about the butter, baby.

No. Not that Sweet Cream, Lightly Salted butter. And not "oleo" either. Oleo is good for one thing and one thing only: Crossword puzzles. And don't even think to put that I Can't Believe It's Not Butter stuff on there. I mean...C'mon. Why are you even pretending that it's the same as butter? They tell you right on the label that it's not butter.

No, the butter you need is that Government Dairy Subsidy Butter. That's the good stuff. The very best grilled Free Government Cheese sammich is made with Government Dairy Subsidy Butter.

I can taste lunch now. But first I have to work on my taxes."