A Rant on Copilots (and their Hats)...

I recently finished two trips which were much more difficult than they otherwise should have been. Bad copilots on both parts.

Copilot #1...
Just about the first thing he says when we meet is that we need to be on time on the last leg...then four days in the future. He's got a close connection to the last flight of the night. I've got no problem with this as I'm a commuter too and understand completely. Then, on the second day, he wants to switch legs so that he doesn't have to land in the same place twice. I agree, but wonder: On the day he retires, will the number of landings here vs. there make any difference to anybody? (And I notice that this change makes the last leg his.) He has a habit of taking off his shoes, which is somewhat unusual. At one point in the trip, we speak about the good workout room on the last layover. On the last day, he asks if I minded if he dried out his gym clothes. I (reluctantly) agree...it was just one leg, and I'd be done with him. Then, as he's standing after draping his wet gym clothes throughout the cockpit, I detect an odor of something. I wonder: Did he just fart, or do his gym clothes come complete with skidmark? I try not to answer.

He did have a hat (more on that later), and a coat. The hat rarely touched his head and spent most of the time on a second hook on his suitcase. The coat fit him, oh maybe, 20 pounds ago, so it didn't often get buttoned.

Copilot #2...
I notice right away that he doesn't have a coat. Well, that's not exactly right. He has a coat, just not a uniform coat. It's more of a windbreaker. No hat in evidence though. The conversation on our first leg is pleasant enough, but it becomes clear to me (and probably to him) that we aren't going to agree on much. He was angry that the pilot's pension was lost while everybody else retained theirs. I explain my belief that our pension was probably just a ghost anyway and about the divorce cons I'd heard go on. He says that we'd be better off if we were a more hard-core union. I think: Great. I'm flying with one of those guys who thinks that we're pussies unless we go past the point of threatening to Burn-the-House-Down, but actually throw the gas and light the match. Never mind that we're in bankruptcy. Never mind the conditions of the rest of the industry. It was all about how we sold out too early. Anyway, again, the conversation wasn't unpleasant, but we soon drift into our own silences. On the second leg, I got to the airplane a bit before him. As he arrives, he asks if I've done the walk-around. I say "No", and off he goes--coatless--for his mid-November walkaround. [A small digression on walkarounds...While he may think I'm being a prick for not jumping at the opportunity for a walkaround, I don't think so. If you've paid attention at all on that other forum, you can probably guess at why I don't really like to get too far away from the cockpit without packing up at least a portion of my stuff. I use the time while the F/O is outside to brief the Flight Attendants. I don't really like most F/As, but I do have to work with them. It is up to me to set an environment where they want to work with me rather than for me. Also, I told myself when I got hired that I'd do half the walkarounds over my career. Guess what? I've already done my half. And finally, the surest way to get me to never do a walkaround is to somehow intimate that you expect it.] His leg into LGA is a challenging one. The weather was low and the winds were near crosswind limits. Most pilots would keep the automation on until we saw the runway, but this guy does otherwise. He clicks off the autopilot and autothrottles and flies manually. There's nothing procedurally wrong with this, but it does make things harder than they need to be. Once we break out, he was lined up on the downwind (right) side of the runway, further making things difficult for himself. The landing was good for LGA and the conditions (read: "firm"). On the approach on his second leg (second day), he again turned off all the automation. We didn't have the weather conditions to deal with this time, but again he lined up on the right side of the runway. I wonder: Is this a trend? [Another digression--this one on his hat. On the third day, his hat makes a brief appearance, from deep inside his roll-aboard, as we change planes in ATL.] His last leg was the real doozy. The weather in LAX was right at minimums. We were very close to needing me to do a Cat II or Cat III approach. So what does our intrepid aviator do? Yeah. You guessed it. He again turns off all the automation and hand-flies the approach. A Cat I autoland would have been perfect here, but that doesn't occur to Steve Canyon. He manages to find the centerline this time, but he wipes off the power at about 25 feet (767) and absolutely crushes the landing. I mean--it was awful. We taxi to the gate in silence. At the gate, he packs up his stuff, we exchange pleasant, but not warm goodbyes, he says goodbye to about a third of our passengers, and then in one of the biggest displays of cowardice I've ever seen, he leaves. I'm left to put my face to what is probably the worst landing experience our passengers have ever been through. No stones at all. None.

Epilogue...Here are the common threads:

• I had F/As question me on the behavior out of both these guys. The first less-so than the second, but in both the non-conformity was easily noted. The second guy was a bit abrasive with a couple of the girls. One of the F/As in the crushing landing later complained of back pain (after Steve had left). Not good at all (and later, I thought that I should have asked if this was OJI back pain, or just back pain.) They both cut a wide swath.
  
• Both these two guys have trouble with the hat. If you're out to make me wonder if you're about to ask for special treatment, do non-standard things in the cockpit, and make me think that I'm going to have to watch for sub-par flying skills, not wearing the hat is a good signal. I'll be able to see you coming a mile off.

Some random thoughts...

...On the election.

Janet Napolitano struck me as all too smug. She's a crafty politician, and she's entitled to enjoy her victory, but she has already taken her "mandate" too far.

There was a discussion on talk radio this AM that JD Hayworth might be able to overturn the results of his defeat with the 100,000 ballots that still needed to be counted. A long shot. I imagine that his "Foghorn Leghorn" act has worn thin in tony Scottsdale and smarter-than-thou Tempe.

The D's appear to be on the edge of making too much of their victory. They have succeeded in serving up the thumpin' (to use Bush's words), but their victory is still less than average for seats won on off-year elections in a President's second term. The House has not much more of a Democratic majority than the Republicans had. The Senate may stay in Republican hands, with razor-close races in Virginia and Montana, although at this writing that appears to be a thin thread. If the D's intend on unending investigations and an impeachment, they're kidding themselves. The Democratic leadership appears to be much more liberal than the successful candidates who have put them in the majority. Caution would be advised. The inmates are now in charge of the asylum.

And in addition to the "thumpin'", the D's have now placed Rumsfeld's head on their pike. Rummy took the heat far longer than Ashcroft did (the other liberal villan). Bush's immediate replacement of Rumsfeld is a stroke of genius, IMO. Now the ball is fully in the D's court. They will have to quickly confirm and just as importantly, work with Gates, or face the deserved criticism of being a "Do-nothing" majority.

At Bush's press conference this morning announcing the change at SecDef, he appeared a but subdued. Although he said we were staying in Iraq to win, the change in Congress may make this difficult to pull off. I just hope the Democrats who hate Cheney more than they fear the Islamists can pull their heads out of their asses.

I'm wondering how long Stevens and Ginsberg have on the Court. Now that a right-wing (read: Originalist) nominee is unlikely to get through the Senate, perhaps they'll be leaving.

I linked to this a week or so back. I hope this is like a bad sci-fi movie and not prologue.

Geography....

This morning I sat in front of a couple of guys engaged in an interesting conversation. We were headed from Phoenix to Los Angeles, and one of the guys wondered if we'd be able to see the Grand Canyon. Also in the conversation was a discussion of where the Continental Divide was. And one of them named to the Salton Sea as Lake Mead.

I realize that I see these things much more frequently than most people do, and that it is my business to have an understanding of where we're headed, but I wonder: Is basic geography ever taught and understood? Is it too much to know that the Grand Canyon is north of Phoenix, and that this flight is headed west?

Ouch...

Chris Muir spanks the Democrats.

Thomas Friedman...

...is an idiot. Its been some time since I "fisked" an article, so here's another attempt.

Insulting Our Troops, and Our Intelligence
by Thomas L. Friedman

Every time you hear George Bush or Dick Cheney lash out against John Kerry, I hope you will say to yourself, They must think I'’m stupid. Because they surely do.


George Bush, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld think youÂ’re stupid. Yes, they do.

They think they can take a mangled quip about President Bush and Iraq by John Kerry- a man who is not even running for office but who, unlike Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney, never ran away from combat service and get you to vote against all Democrats in this election.

Three paragraphs into the article and the "chickenhawk" meme comes out. You'd think the liberals would be tired of repeating themselves. For the record, Bush and Cheney aren't running for office either. Bush served honorably (contrary to what Dan Rather thinks) in the Guard. Cheney got deferments, not unlike many of the time. And, in this country, it is a good thing that we pride ourselves in the civilian control of our military.

Every time you hear Mr. Bush or Mr. Cheney lash out against Mr. Kerry, I hope you will say to yourself, They must think I'm stupid.” Because they surely do.

They think that they can get you to overlook all of the Bush team'’s real and deadly insults to the U.S. military over the past six years by hyping and exaggerating Mr. Kerry a’s a mangled gibe at the president.

Nobody has had to hype or exaggerate Kerry's gaffe. It stands on its own.

What could possibly be more injurious and insulting to the U.S. military than to send it into combat in Iraq without enough men — to launch an invasion of a foreign country not by the Powell Doctrine of overwhelming force, but by the Rumsfeld Doctrine of just enough troops to lose? What could be a bigger insult than that?

The "Powell Doctrine" carries with it the idea that your overwhelming force will prevent the Iraqis from bringing on their own forces. What of Powell's Pottery Barn Rule--"You break it, you've bought it"? How would the Murthians settle this score? The "Rumsfeld Doctrine" balances the immediate military needs with not keeping an overbearing force in country. What would the incentive be for the Iraqis to develop their own military if we were there doing everything necessary?

What could possibly be more injurious and insulting to our men and women in uniform than sending them off to war without the proper equipment, so that some soldiers in the field were left to buy their own body armor and to retrofit their own jeeps with scrap metal so that roadside bombs in Iraq would only maim them for life and not kill them? And what could be more injurious and insulting than Don Rumsfeld’s response to criticism that he sent our troops off in haste and unprepared: Hey, you go to war with the army you’ve got — get over it.

Some of the responsibility for not enough proper equipment ought to properly rest with Congress and President Clinton...and with that ordinary Americans of all stripes who have become accustomed to their entitlements. The decision to add armor to HMMVVs did not come easinitiallyy were initally unarmored because without the extra weight,maneuverablere maneuverable. Adding the weight of the armor also adds to suspension problems and the likelihood of rollover accidents. Compare Rumsfeld's quote to...

Once, during the Siege of Boston, when almost nothing was going right and General Schuyler had written from Albany to bemoanWashingtonbles, Washington had replied that he understood but that "we must bear up against them, and make the best of mankind as they are, since we cannot have them as we wish</span>." [emphasis added]

1776, David McCullough pg 256.

What could possibly be more injurious and insulting to our men and women in uniform than to send them off to war in Iraq without any coherent postwar plan for political reconstruction there, so that the U.S. military has had to assume not only security responsibilities for all of Iraq but the political rebuilding as well? The Bush team has created a veritable library of military histories from Cobra II to “Fiasco” to State of Denial all of which contain the same damning conclusion offered by the very soldiers and officers who fought this war: This administration never had a plan for the morning after, and weÂ’ve been making it up— and paying the price ever since.

Look. What Friedman and the rest of the liberals don't get is that the enemy has a vote in what happens as much as we do. We are still very much in this war. He wants a plan--a timeline--for every step of the war, and fails to account that the enemy will throw up roadblocks every chance the can. You always make up the "plan for the morning after". Whatever plan you started with is your first casualty.

And what could possibly be more injurious and insulting to our men and women in Iraq than to send them off to war and then go out and finance the very people they are fighting against with our gluttonous consumption of oil? Sure, George Bush told us we’re addicted to oil, but he has not done one single significant thing — demanded higher mileage standards from Detroit, imposed a gasoline tax or even used the bully pulpit of the White House to drive conservation to end that addiction. So we continue to finance the U.S. military with our tax dollars, while we finance Iran, Syria, Wahhabi mosques and Al Qaeda madrassas with our energy purchases.

Changing not just our, but the world's reliance on oil, will take generations. It is not just George Bush's fault. And we have to have a viable alternative energy source in sufficient quantities to replace oil. If it was so easy, someone would have already done it.

Everyone says that Karl Rove is a genius. Yeah, right. So are cigarette companies. They get you to buy cigarettes even though we know they cause cancer. That is the kind of genius Karl Rove is. He is not a man who has designed a strategy to reunite our country around an agenda of renewal for the 21st century — to bring out the best in us. His “genius” is taking some irrelevant aside by John Kerry and twisting it to bring out the worst in us, so you will ignore the mess that the Bush team has visited on this country.

Note to Tom: Karl Rove hasn't had to do anything here. The Kerry gaffe was caught by a radio station reporter. It was posted to youtube.com, and it took off like wildfire from there. It's just a guess, but I wouldn't be surprised if Rove read about this on his Blackberry.

And Karl Rove has succeeded at that in the past because he was sure that he could sell just enough Bush cigarettes, even though people knew they caused cancer. Please, please, for our countryÂ’s health, prove him wrong this time.

And just what is the relevance of the connection to cigarettes? Has Bush or Rove spoken at all about Big Tobacco?

Let Karl know that you’re not stupid. Let him know that you know that the most patriotic thing to do in this election is to vote against an administration that has — through sheer incompetence — brought us to a point in Iraq that was not inevitable but is now unwinnable.

You know, there is tons of military advice (Also see this for a defense of Rumsfeld) that says that this war is winnable. It is very difficult now, and Bush has been forthcoming on this point from the start.

Let Karl know that you think this is a critical election, because you know as a citizen that if the Bush team can behave with the level of deadly incompetence it has exhibited in Iraq — and then get away with it by holding on to the House and the Senate — it means our country has become a banana republic. It means our democracy is in tatters because it is so gerrymandered, so polluted by money, and so divided by professional political hacks that we can no longer hold the ruling party to account.

Ah yes. It is self-evident that if the Repubicans don't lose the House and Senate, then our democracy is doomed. "Tattered". "Polluted".

It means we're as stupid as Karl thinks we are.

Speak for yourself, Tom.

I, for one, don'’t think we're that stupid. Next Tuesday we'll see.

Yes, we will. I'm betting the R's hold both Houses and the D's go crazy (again).

Edit: Lots of formatting problems coming from the cut-and-paste of Friedman's column. I got most of them, but not all.

So Iran wants nuclear power...

Guess who else does? A better question might be: Who doesn't?

h/t ahem at Jeff's place.

The reasons for the War in Iraq...

Told ya' so. Even the NYT says so now.

Paul at Powerline weighs in.

And, of course, Captain Ed is all over it.

Apparently...

The "Third Way" act is wearing a bit thin.

Aussies...

A few posts back, I saluted the Canucks, so here is something for the Aussies...



Hey, Dixie Chicks. This is how to do it. Otherwise, STFU.

Oh, yeah. It doesn't hurt that Beccy is hot in the same way that other Aussie ladies can be.

h/t B5.

Reductio ad Absurdum...

Gee, fella's. As I reflect on all this, I now see that you're right, and that I've been wrong all along. The War in Iraq is wrong on so many levels. We were lied to. Repeatedly. There were never any WMDs. There wasn't a plan on how to win the peace after we’d achieved the military victory. No one has ever been able to enunciate a decent exit strategy. We've accomplished nothing in Iraq except to create more terrorists and more problems than we can ever deal with. Mea culpa...we never should have gone into Iraq.

Now that I've seen the error of my ways, I think the best course would be to apologize profusely and get out of Iraq in the fastest way possible. Timelines-Bah. Let's get out now. Right now. Every day we're there, things get a little worse. (OK. A lot worse.) If we need to assuage our guilt over the damage we've done, let's throw together a big bunch of money, and let the U.N. administer the re-building. I hear they’re pretty good at stuff like that. Maybe the French or the Russians could do better than we've been able to do (Hey. They couldn't do worse, now could they?). Iraq has been nothing but a big mistake.

And as I'm looking at the world from this new perspective, I'm thinking that we should re-examine Afghanistan too. We've been there almost five years now and we still haven't been able to find Osama. I mean, C'mon, it's just one guy we're looking for. How hard can it be? (And on this point alone, Rumsfeld deserves to be fired.) The Taliban is resurgent, they're growing poppies like there's no tomorrow and they have no control--none--of their border with Pakistan [Ignoring for the moment that it is a fair observation that we don't have control of ours either.]. Did we learn nothing from the Soviets?

You know what else? Elections, smelections. These aren’t real democracies we’ve stood up. They’re nothing more than Islamic Banana Republics. I guess it was sorta quaint to see those men and women in their traditional clothes all lined up waiting for the chance to proudly dip their fingers in ink. But really now. Are we really—seriously--supposed to believe that all these disparate tribes are even remotely capable of forming functioning democracies? I mean, a bunch of them can’t even read. Ridiculous. As bad as Saddam and the Taliban were, at least they made the trains run on time (OK, OK, OK. The Taliban didn’t have trains. But they did get everyone called to prayer on time. Let’s give them that.)

And let’s look at just who these knuckleheads elected. For crying out loud, the Afghans “elected” some guy who wears a frikkin’ cape everywhere he goes. Wazzup wit’ ‘dat? And the Iraqis were able to finally, finally settle on a guy who needs to shave about 4 times a day. Would it hurt him to keep a Norelco nearby? Helloooo? Plus, al-Maliki is a Shi’ite, fer christ mohammad sakes. Can anyone guess another country where you can find a bunch of Shi’ites? Does anyone else hear alarm bells? Ding. Ding. Ding.

While we’re in the neighborhood, let’s not kid ourselves about Pakistan. They don’t have control of their side of the border either, and their intelligence service is thoroughly infiltrated by the bad guys. At least Musharraf is able to wear a decent suit, but I don’t trust ole’ Pervez as far as I could throw him. I mean, he’s both the President and a General. Bad combo, man. Bad combo. Does anyone really believe he wouldn’t incinerate Bombay in a New Delhi minute if he thought he could get away with it? He may have figured out that cozying up to Bush was the key to keeping his job (and his head on his shoulders), but I’m tellin’ ya’, he’s bad juju. Bad juju.

So now that I’ve looked at it all in the right light, I say we get out of the Mid-East. The biggies like Iraq and Afghanistan as well as Qatar, Bahrain and all those other crappy little places nobody can find on a map. All of it. Just get the hell out of Dodge, if you get my drift. None of it is worth our blood and treasure. And you know what else? I’m thinking that redeploying to Okinawa is still too close to the action. You know, the Indonesians don’t exactly like us either and they’re the most populous Islamic nation on the planet. Moving to Okinawa is just asking for trouble.

And let me tell you something from personal experience: The Okinawans don’t like us either. Not. At. All. They hated our presence there since before I was flying through there in the mid-eighties. The Japanese, much as they come off as all polite and everything, can really chafe at a conquering military presence on their soil. And who wouldn’t? We need to think about getting out of Japan too. Isn’t it time yet?

Since we’re looking at Japan, I guess we ought to look at South Korea too. Besides cheap DVD players and Hyundais, can anyone tell me how we benefit from a close relationship with South Korea? Me neither. And the semi-democracy we keep propped up there isn’t exactly what the people want. Unlike today’s American anti-war protestors, the South Koreans can get thousands to show up for demonstrations against their government. And these demonstrators are violent.

I guess I ought to also think about Taiwan, but try as I might, there’s really nothing to say. I don’t know one thing about Taiwan, other than that we have simultaneously extended our nuclear umbrella over Taiwan while we also oppose their independence through our One China policy. Could there be anything more contradictory? Let’s let China take back Taiwan. I mean, there are no gulags in Hong Kong, are there? What could go wrong in Taiwan? We’ve got Hawaii. Don’t the Chinese deserve an island paradise too? Not even a Puerto Rico? Guam?

There’s one other thing. I don’t think the Asians really even like their democracies. Every time you see one of those stories about a fistfight on the floor of a legislature, it’s from Taiwan or South Korea. Contrast that to the images of the guys who can get things done in North Korea and China. Everybody is always smiling and clapping. Democracy and liberty are over-rated. Only a crazy man would want liberty. The Asians like their dictators. They really do.

Since it looks like I'm repainting the whole damned house, I should at least look at the condition of things in the living room: Europe. Here is the sad truth: We've got troops in Germany, Italy, and Great Britain for no damned reason. The Russians are done--the life expectancy of a Russian man is 59 years. (Plug that into your Social Security calculator.) The Warsaw Pact is more than kaput...the Warsaw Pact countries have been fighting tooth-and-nail to get into NATO. Just who American troops are protecting Western Europe from is beyond me. It's well past time for the Western European countries to stand on their own. We need to bring our European troops home too.

Finally, I can't ignore the source of just about every problem in the Mid-East: Israel. You know, I'm sorry about the Holocaust and everything. We should have allowed more Jews to emigrate here. But man. They've had 60 years to find their niche, and they're still fighting their neighbors. They just can't get along. The Palestinians have been downtrodden for far too long. I'm not saying we should support the Pali's, but I think we need to re-think our support for Israel. Let the Israelis work it out with the Pali's and their pals. It's none of our business any longer.

As I look at the world, there are two kinds of countries: Countries who may need us but really, really don't like us, and countries who like us but really, really don't need us.

So in a nutshell, here is my plan: Bring back everybody. Every swinging dick. (Sorry, ladies. I lost my political correctness a long time ago.) Fold the Navy into the Coast Guard and keep them within eyeshot of an American coastline. Fold the Army and Air Force into the Border Patrol. Decommission every American military unit with a strategic mission. We're going to save a ton on military expenditures, and we'll be able to keep the homeland safe.

[/ reductio ad absurdum]

If it isn't obvious, I believe in exactly none of the above. We have a special place in the world: The one remaining superpower. I don't like being the world's policeman, but nobody else is going to bring stability to the world. Try for a minute to think through what the world would look like if we withdrew. You can just withdraw from Iraq, or you can withdraw from everywhere, and I end up at the same place: A world far less stable than before we left. I don't think that we're colonizing the world in our form. Rather, I deeply and completely believe that the liberty we far too often take for granted is something that everyone on this planet inately seeks. What we're doing in Iraq (and the rest of the world) is to offer them a chance at that kind of liberty.

The War in Iraq is central to the War on Terror. But don't take my word for it, and don't take George Bush's. Take Osama's.

The history of the last thirty years shows a steady escalation of Islamofacist actions against the West. In recent history, these actions have accelerated. Spain changed their government and withdrew from Iraq after AQ attacked their trains. The recent coup in Thailand was led by a Muslim General. France is in the middle of an intifada today.

The Democrats today are sporting seven or eight different ways to handle Iraq, but they all center on getting out. Getting out means giving up. And the Islamists aren't going to give up until we're defeated. Thoroughly. Not just in the Mid-East, but everywhere.

I apologize for the length, but as you can tell, I am passionate about this topic. If you've gotten this far and are interested in another lengthy and scary read, you can find one here. There are elements in this story that I wouldn't necessarily predict, but I'm afraid that if Democrats have their way, there will be far more truth here than most of us would like.

Christopher Walken...

...via Karl at Protein Wisdom.



And for no other reason than this one cracks me up every time I see it (also from Karl. And I'm glad that NBC hasn't, in defense of their copyright, tubed the YouTube.)...



This election is in the bag.

Tomorrow...

Chris Wallace of Fox News Sunday will interview John Kerry.

...almost two years after he nearly won the White House, we will discuss the latest foreign policy and political news with Sen. John Kerry. What are the Democratic Party's proposals for addressing the North Korean nuclear threat and the escalating sectarian warfare in Iraq? And with the likelihood that Democrats may win back one or both houses of Congress in the upcoming midterm elections, what are their legislative plans for next year? We will discuss the foreign policy challenges with Sen. Kerry, along with his chances in the 2008 presidential campaign.

Good questions, those. I wonder how long he will take before he drops the "Bush Lied" line.

Barbarians....

This is why they are barbarians.

h/t Powerline.

Our Friends...

...the Canucks.



h/t Op-For.

"Liberals...

...know exactly what they wouldn’t do, but never what they would."

Obviously, found over at Jeff's place.

"I'm so ronry. I'm so ronry..."

[Sorry. Couldn't resist the Team America reference.]

My Good Friend...

The following was stolen shamelessly from Cowboyblob,

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sun light.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

This photo is one taken by Daughter#1 for the photography class she took this past summer.

I've always felt that I'm not half the dog-parent that I ought to be. Abby deserves more walks, more baths (and better care of her ears), more throws of the Kong, more time in the pool. Still, in spite of my failings, she loves me like nothing else. She's a great dog, and one day, if I'm lucky, I'll walk with her (and Chelsea) in Heaven.

How you know that you've successfully raised your children...

From Kim, via Rodger...

Your son should understand...

* Drive a car well, ie. a stick shift;
* Know how to handle any gun, and be comfortable with its operation;
* Understand basic macro- and microeconomics;
* Know the difference between a popular democracy and a representative republic;
* Be able to cook a basic meal (meat, rice/potatoes, vegetables) from scratch;
* Speak at least one foreign language
* Understand how to read a map, and be comfortable with basic orienteering;
* Have two years’ experience in a trade (any trade, eg. carpenter, electrician, welder, auto mechanic, plumber);
* Play a musical instrument, and have a basic understanding of music;
* Understand basic self-defense/unarmed combat techniques;
* Have excellent manners, and know all aspects of social etiquette;
* Travel to a foreign country (Mexico and Canada don’t count, in the U.S. circumstance);
* Be extremely knowledgeable about history (for the reasons given by Coop [shown at the link] );
* Have read at least twenty books in the Western Canon;
* Be able to use a computer, especially spreadsheet, word processing and basic database programs;
* Be able to write a cogent, grammatically-correct essay of no less than 1,000 words in length
* Been a member of a social group or club (4H, Boy Scouts, Young Republicans, whatever) for at least two years

Your daughter should understand...

The basic rules of fashion (and the difference between fad and fashion, never giving in completely to the former)

Be comfortable in the body she was born with

How to properly groom herself and apply/wear make-up appropriate for the setting/circumstances

Sew (sufficient to hem, reapply a button, make curtains) including a knowledge of fabrics and fashion terms

How to iron beyond getting the creases out (knowing how to properly iron a dress shirt including a non-permanent press version, set creases in slacks, and handle pleating)

The rules of etiquette in both business and personal settings for a variety of cultures, including:

* How to set a table
* How to make introductions
* How to make seating arrangements at a table
* Proper conduct at formal events, such as weddings, funerals, etc.
* Rules of reciprocation

Recognize gossip, know how to avoid it, and people who do it

Be an ear/shoulder without being a martyr or know-it-all

Bathe and clothe a baby

Feed a baby

Be physically fit sufficient to birth a baby and endure a 2-year-old

Understand the basics of child psychology and child rearing, sufficient to properly coach a child to explore, read, and discover

* Basic arithmetic
* Basic science
* Properly address and handle a tantrum

Write letters

Be gracious without being condescending

Understand our system of government sufficient to keep vigilance of it and properly exercise her right to vote

Be able to defend herself, her husband, and her children with a gun

Read at least 20 books from the Western Canon and understand them

Recognize at least 100 paintings/art treasures and what is good/bad about them

Play at least one musical instrument, and understand the basics of music

Recite poetry or sing without being self-conscious

Speak a foreign language sufficient to travel in that country

Play bridge to win, and win gracefully

Drive defensively

Understand how a car works, sufficient to attend to its required maintenance

Be able to use basic household tools to perform basic household repairs

Know how to hang a picture and WHERE to hang it

Understand the basics of design as it applies to household decor, architecture, garden and landscape planning/maintenance

Manage a household:

* Hire, direct, and train household staff
* Menu/meal planning (including organizing and planning parties and events)
* Budgeting and forecasting
* Maintain records (including important documents, expenses/checking and savings accounts, etc.)

Cook/Kitchen management, including:

* Make bread
* Understand dietary considerations (health, customs, and religions)
* Select, keep and store ingredients properly and safely
* Understand the proper use and selection of herbs and spices
* Bake a pie, including fruit, cream, and meringue
* Make sauces, including rue-based, vegetable-based, and creams
* How to test for doneness in meats, breads, and cakes
* How to choose equipment and serving pieces
* Be capable of making an entire Thanksgiving dinner on her own (on time and everything hot/cold as appropriate)

How to say “no”

How and when to say “yes”

Be supportive of her husband without deameaning herself

Recognize and end relationships that are destructive

Dance etiquette

Walk gracefully in high heels (or know not to wear them!)

Tell a joke

Bathe a dog

Kim appears to be a bit harder on his daughters than he is on his sons. However, this is good preparation for life, as life has always been harder on women than on men.

By Kim's standards, we've failed our children on a number of counts, but overall, they're turning into wonderful young adults, in spite of our failures.

School Shootings Post #2...

I've got O'Reilly on in the background as I write, and he's interviewing Geraldo Rivera regarding his predictions of more school shootings (especially of school-age girls) after the Bailey, Colorado shootings. Since then, Geraldo's prediction has come true with the subsequent shootings in Wisconsin and more recently at the Amish school in Pennsylvania. Of course, being the knuckleheads that they each are, O'Reilly and Geraldo are all wrong, but their discussion is predictable. Geraldo is advocating giving male High School seniors and parents radios and cell phones to help them as they patrol the schools. He even admits to being an "old fashioned liberal" [Geraldo's response: "No. I'm a radical."].

They are failing to think outside the box. More cops. More parents. Better communications. This is their thinking. None of it will work. I said so here, over a year and a half ago, in my first month operating this blog.

The kids in schools will be vulnerable to the crazy sick adults and the disgruntled kids (not to mention the terrorists) who turn up in schools with murderous intent as long as they insist on keeping schools as gun-free zones. You cannot possibly put enough cops into each school every day to protect the kids until time immemorial. The American public won't accept the taxes it would take to pay these cops.

"They see our compassion as weakness and our integrity as blindness to reality."

OK. OK. OK.

I've been remiss about posting here for the past week or so. Patterico has scored an amazing and exclusive interview with an Army nurse who has personal experience with the terrorists at Gitmo.

Read below. You won't regret it.

Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three.
Part Four.
Part Five.